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One Smoker gets Downright Mean


I’d like to share something that I’ve had it with. First off, I am a smoker. As a smoker, I am so sick of the whining, anti-smoker Nazis that seem to think that just because they don’t smoke, that no one else in the world should either. I know that smoking is bad for me. But that’s just it; it’s bad for ME. I’m not harming anybody but myself, period. I don’t smoke in public places unless I’m in a designated "smoking area", I don’t smoke around children, hell, I don’t even smoke in my own car if there’s a non-smoker in it. Yet for some reason, there’s an abundance of piss-ant little fucks that think they have the right to deny me one of the few things in life from which I still gleam a hint of pleasure. Let me break it down for all the egocentric little pricks that seem to think they have the right to tell me what I am and am not allowed to do.

For starters, I’m a gamer. I know that I play with some non-smokers so I try to be considerate to them. I never smoke when it’s going to interfere with the game. My smoke breaks are limited to lulls in the action when my PC isn’t involved in what’s taking place. Either someone else is doing something or I’m waiting for the other players or the DM to get their shit together and figure out what the hell they’re doing. It’s a perfectly good time for me to smoke when somebody feels the need to recount the entire story of yet another worthless, mind-numbing anime episode. Here’s a tip: we live in America, I don’t give a shit about some piss-poor storyline with pathetic graphics made by some teenager in Asia who has never been laid. If I happen to be outside when my turn comes up, skip me. I have always said that I don’t want to hold anything up…which is more than I can say for some people.

Then there are those insufferable little fucks who think that I don’t need a cigarette. Yes I do. It’s called addiction jackass, so deal with it. It must be nice to have the luxury of a holier-than-thou attitude of a person with no vices. A little rudimentary biology for you: Nicotine is addictive both psychologically AND PHYSICALLY. Let’s delve into that, shall we. Physically means that the body NEEDS it and a lack of it causes physiological changes within the body. In the case of nicotine, that breaks down to symptoms such as intense shaking, irritability, headaches, and premature ventricular contractions in the heart—commonly referred to as palpitations. Nicotine stimulates pleasure responses in the brain as well as acts as a form of pain relief. Do I wish I had never started smoking? Sure, but it’s not as easy as putting them down and walking away so forgive me if I need a smoke periodically.

Next, let’s discuss those assholes that give you a hard time at work. Smoking is not an excuse to get out of doing work. I admit that there are some inconsiderate smokers out there. However, there are inconsiderate people in all walks of life that just don’t care about anyone but themselves. This is not a phenomenon exclusive to smokers. Before you start making absurd generalizations, understand that most of us will not take a break if it is busy and the smoke break would cause an excess in work load for others. For those non-smokers out there that have a desire to take time to themselves during work, that’s is fine. Take your equivalent breaks. Walk outside, sit and read, or go into the bathroom and jerk-off for all I care. Virtually every other state with the exception of SC has labor laws that allot for, at least, 15 minutes of break time for every four hours worked. Most states require that an employer allow a 30 min. lunch and two 15 min. breaks over the course of an eight hour shift. I work, at the very least, twelve hour shifts. My lunch consists of 10 minutes of scarfing down whatever gruel I can get my hands on, then running full-tilt back to the grind. I usually take three to four 5 min. smoke breaks over the course of my 12+ hour shift. Anyone with at least a 4th grade education can do the math and figure out that I’m not fluffing the timesheet with this.

A final note to all you whiney, self-absorbed, non-smokers out there: My habit isn’t hurting anyone but me. I’m not out at the bars, boozing it up, and slamming my car into Mrs. Johnson’s minivan; I’m not ripping off school kids and soccer moms in order to buy crack; I’m not embezzling millions of dollars of corporate funds to subsidies my cocaine and prostitute habits while my employees starve upon retirement; I’m not bludgeoning to death, all those who disagree with my views; and I’m not scamming the elderly into giving me what little money they do have, so that I can live on a yacht in the Caribbean. So let me ask this final request…leave me the fuck alone and I’ll show you the same consideration.

Submitted by: Cunning Linguist
(way to black the eyes of anti-smoking Nazis like me - editor)

HATE keeps me young.